“Mind & Body”
by
Barbara Joseph, RN, MFT

Finding support when you are taking care of someone who is dying.

Sandy is a 51 year old woman with metastatic cervical cancer and her husband, Jon has been her main source of support and care for the past 3 months. Sandy has a tumor in her intestine that has created an obstruction in her bowel. Sandy is at home with intravenous feedings every night and has a nurse to assist with the starting the nightly treatments. Jon is also caring for their 10 year old Alan. Jon also takes Sandy to all her treatments-chemotherapy and all doctor’s appointments. Jon has worked with friends, family, Alan’s teachers and schoolmates to create a healing circle. Jon has a weekly e-mail that he sends to all of the people in the healing circle. Every day at 9 am, members of the healing circle hold Sandy, Jon and Alan in their thoughts and prayers ( doing whatever is comfortable for the members). This is a time for members to concentrate on Sandy’s healing and support for Jon and Alan. Another service provided by the healing circle is to provide meals for Jon and Alan. Members have also created a beautiful garden in Sandy and Jon’s yard for Sandy to enjoy on a daily basis. Jon has used the healing circle when errands need to be done so that he can stay and care for Sandy. Members of the healing circle have created an amazing network of support and caring for Sandy and her family. As a result of this healing circle and their activities, Sandy and her family can have quality time together while the details and day-to-day needs are being handled by the circle.

So when you are caring for someone who is ill and may be dying, reach out and ask for help. Using e-mail and letting friends and loved ones know what you need and how they can help. Friends and family may feel helpless or not know what to do assist you but want to help. You can let a couple people know what help you need and let them talk to others to build a support system or a healing circle. This is not a time to worry that you may be burdening others. Remember that you want to be able to spend quality time with your ill loved one and letting others know what you need will make that happen. The support system can assist you so that you can take a day for yourself to rest and restore yourself. Your loved one will rest better knowing that you are not alone and you have support throughout this time.

Remember-You are not alone……….

Feel free to email me your questions...after all...that is what I do. Help people find answers.

Email your questions/comments to: Barbara@the-ddic.com