WHAT IS A THANATOLOGIST?
by
Donalyn Gross, Ph.D., LCSW, CMP

I am a Thanatologist. Impressive title, isn’t it? Actually, it’s a fancy word meaning “the study of dying”. In Greek mythology, Thanatos and his brother Hypnos, would fly around the countryside at night. They’d find a mortal, Hypnos would put him to sleep, and Thanatos would carry him off to Hades. My friends jokingly call me “Mrs. Reaper”, the “Angel of Death”, and “Morgueticia”. I’ve been working with the dying and their loved ones for over 26 years, and have loved every minute of it.

When I was in high school, I worked in a local nursing home, helping in Activities. I saw so many people abandoned, and dying alone. I vowed I’d do what I could to avoid this happening. I remember in particular, a woman who sat alone in her room every day, cutting out pictures from magazines and pasting them into albums. All day, every day. Once in a great while, a young man would come in and bring her a pile of new magazines. When she died that summer, I went to her funeral. I walked into the visiting hours, and was shocked to see a room full of people. I immediately went back out and checked for her name on the door. Yes, I was in the right place. I stood there among the people, and wondered, “Where the hell were all you people when she was alive?!”

That started me on this 26 year mission. I’ve since worked in hospitals, hospice programs, correctional institutions and long term care facilities as a counselor for families, providing workshops on end-of-life issues, teaching college courses in death and dying, playing the harp for the actively dying, and have created the Good Endings program, an educational program of caring for the dying nursing home resident.

I tell my friends that in my “next life”, I’m going to have a “normal” job, such as a teacher, nurse, or secretary, one that has a steady schedule and benefits! Deep in my heart I know that I’ll never do anything but this. Death is my life.

Email your questions/comments to: guest@the-ddic.com

The Good Endings program publications consist of 3 books, 2 music CDs, and an educational training video, Understanding Death and Dying. The web site is www.goodendings.net and her email is goodendings@hotmail.com.