“Q & A”
by
Judith Lee

THE NEED TO KNOW

Years ago, while working in the nursing home industry a co-worker and I were struck by the fact that after a client died the family and friends had no idea what to do. When a patient was admitted it was usually because they were very ill and probably wouldn't live. The intake crew spent a lot of time explaining the procedures after a patient died. They offered resources to the person/people responsible for the patient so one would think the family and friends would know what to do...but they didn't.

I spent a great deal of time working with the survivors. The deceased needed to be moved…family/friends needed to grieve, arrangements needed to be made. It was a difficult time for all concerned.

Hello. Welcome to the “Q&A” column. As a way of introduction this column topic will deal with the need to have information on death and dying issues for you as a consumer.

Historically the United States has had a kind of schizophrenic attitude towards death and dying. We are fascinated with it, yet we want to keep it at a distance.
Before World War II more people died at home and therefore death was seen by the living. People had experience in dealing with the death of someone. While this was true for adults, children have always been shielded from the "horrors of death". Today many adults have never seen a dead person, much less had to be responsible for a deceased person.

This column will try to give you answers to your questions on what to do. In the United States people generally don't want to discuss their own impending death so no plans are made for the future. It is usually after a death, the people responsible for the deceased need to get information and make decisions, often while under great mental and emotional stress.

I look forward to giving you some of the answers to this most touchy of topics...death and dying.

Email your questions/comments to Judith@the-ddic.com